Chapter 10

GIVEN THAT I NOW KNEW Mai had a secret alternate objective here, I was all but certain what the remaining order would be. I could already see Mai putting herself as the final boss, greeting me with her smug-faced expression—and assuming this did have something to do with Hibiki, then it stood to reason that she’d try to weaken my emotional defenses by having me go shopping and joke around with him immediately beforehand. And yes, this would totally work on me, for the record.

And if indeed it was about Hibiki, chances were it was also something romance-related. That was pretty much the only thing that hadn’t happened between us that I could imagine her “wishing” for. Well, assuming you didn’t count me climbing on top of him and trying to kiss him on Christmas, but Mai wouldn’t know about that…

“Next, we’ll be going over to that building there,” she said. “Which, believe it or not, is one massive, multi-floor stationery store. You’re gonna love it, trust me.”

“That does seem fitting for an accountant,” I said, wincing.

“Oh, sorry,” Mai interjected. “I’m next on the docket, actually. Not Mr. Accountant Boy.”

“Wait, huh?! I thought for sure you were going to be last!”

I felt quite proud of myself for pivoting from this slip of the tongue to focus on Mai rather than Hibiki without missing a beat. I’d have to tell Karin about this later.

“Why, were you hoping to see our little accountant next?” asked Mai.

“Huh?” I replied. “I mean, n-no… It’s not that…”

I admit this attempt was a lot less convincing. Mai would have been fully justified in grilling me for it (not that I wanted that), and yet she didn’t press me on the subject of Hibiki any further. When we reached the store, she just bowed her head to me and immediately switched from guide mode to shopping date mode.

“They say it’s the biggest stationery store in all of Japan,” she said. “You ever been?”

“Nah, I’m not that fussy about paper products, so I usually just buy them at my local office supply store,” I said.

“Well, you’re in for a treat, then. And no offense to the others—but I went ahead and stretched this leg of the trip out a bit longer than the rest.”

“Wow, didn’t know your magic could stretch the fabric of time itself. Don’t think anyone’s gonna give you flak for that, Ms. Time Wizard.”

Jokes aside, I immediately jumped to the conclusion that she’d done this because she was planning to tell me about her little “wish” while we were alone, and felt quite satisfied with myself for making this deduction. And yet at the same time, I felt like a jaded, cynical grown-up, trying to suss out my friends’ intentions like this—I really didn’t like it. Especially when I usually took so much pride in being upfront and honest with people.

Upon walking inside, I was immediately baffled to see that a store like this had a counter with drinks for sale. If it had been a little café area or something, I might have understood, but it looked like literally all they sold was lemonade.

“You want a drink?” asked Mai.

“Think I’m good for now,” I said. “Don’t tell me—did Hibiki pass on being stationed here because of all the lemons?”

“What, does he hate them or something?”

“He can’t stand sour stuff or things like guaraná. But he still forces himself to eat them for some reason—pay attention next time, it’s really funny the way his face puckers up. Although he doesn’t seem to mind wine all that much.”

“Huh, interesting. Well, can’t say I’m a fan of guaraná myself.”

Mai shrugged her shoulders with an expression that suggested she was still playing dumb about the whole Hibiki thing. What was it about adults and feigning ignorance? It was like they just reveled in teasing and manipulating while pretending it was totally unintentional. But I could tell deep down she was amused by me jumping right into a trap she hadn’t even laid—even though it wasn’t weird at all for me to bring Hibiki up in conversation, given that he was one of my best friends. Also, who didn’t like guaraná?

“I actually have a present candidate for you in mind already,” said Mai. “It’s on the fourth floor, so why don’t we start on the seventh and work our way down? Gotta get in the mood before we hit the main event.”

“We did grow up in the era of songs with really long intros, after all,” I pointed out.

“Personally, I kinda like songs that hit you with the catchy part right off the bat, but that’s just me.”

That honestly makes sense for someone whose company makes candy commercials, I found myself thinking as we took the elevator up to the seventh floor.

The vibe up there was totally different from the first floor—a very colorful, conceptual space. I could see why Mai had suggested we start here. It was so vibrant, it was almost dazzling. What felt like thousands of different colors were spread all across the walls and shelves in the form of colored paper and pens. If there was a little witch out there somewhere who loved drawing and handicrafts, I imagined this was what their lair might look like. I picked up a magic marker in a color I didn’t even know existed and thought to myself, Maybe it would be fun to write my business proposals with this.

“To be honest, my present idea’s a lot cheaper than what the others bought you,” Mai confessed. “So if you see anything else you want, feel free to throw it in.”

“Oh, no—I’m not worried about the price,” I said. “I know it must be something you really put your heart into picking out, so it’ll probably trounce the others anyway.”

“Wow, you’re really setting the bar high for me, huh?!”

“Isn’t that the standard you always hold yourself to, though?”

Mai was perhaps the most capable person I knew. Her skills made her invaluable in all kinds of situations. I’d almost come to be a bit too dependent on them since our college days, as I relied on her for things like event planning and presentation help more times than I could count. That said, she’d also made it abundantly clear to all of us that she’s not the sort of person who wants to have to shoulder everything all by herself, and that give-and-take relationship is why we’ve managed to stay such good friends to this day.

The moment she told us this was honestly one of my fondest memories of her.

While I couldn’t speak for Kao, I knew for a fact that I’d been unintentionally taking advantage of her goodwill pretty much constantly up until that point, leaving her in charge of planning everything from drinking parties to study sessions to school festival events without even realizing I was being a freeloader. Then one day, after this reached a breaking point, she called me and Kao over to her one-bedroom apartment, where we found her sitting on her knees in formal posture on a floor cushion. Hibiki was there too, wearing his usual wry smirk when we walked in—apparently, she’d asked him to be there as a witness because she was worried she might lose her temper otherwise. She was much more rational than either Kao or I were, as two friends who’d been in fights where things got absolutely vicious.

We sat across from her on the floor, and she started off admitting that it was partially her fault for letting the situation go on so long without saying anything, before criticizing our behavior and telling us we needed to at least try a little harder to show that we were willing to help pull our own weight. She didn’t yell—only scolded. Mind you, this was in an era when we would scoff out loud any time a customer at our work criticized us for anything—and yet, this earnest expression of frustration from our good friend really hit home, at least for me. It was something I appreciated even more now that I’d entered the real workforce; I felt like Mai bearing her heart and talking things out with us not only made me a better friend but a better member of society as well.

We did a quick circuit of the whole floor, then took the stairs down to the sixth, which had a much more laid-back, homey vibe to it. Items on display here included things like photo albums and picture frames. I was reminded of that photo on the corkboard at Hibiki’s place; since I still owed him an apology for Christmas, I figured maybe I could at least get him something nice to put it in. And not just for the sake of the operation.

“Hey, can I do a little personal shopping while we’re here?” I asked.

“Sure,” said Mai. “I’ll buy whatever you want.”

“No, I’ll get it. It’d be a present for someone else.”

“Oh? For who?”

“F-for Hibiki.”

Clearly, I hadn’t thought this through before bringing it up.

“Oh really, now…” said Mai.

“I was over at his place the other day, and I saw that he had that nice photo of us just tacked lazily to his bulletin board, so I figured hey, why not?” I said, trying to make excuses while simultaneously digging myself into an even deeper hole. I felt a bit like I was dribbling my way straight into my own goal here at this point. Hoping to play it off, I reached for one of the colorful photo albums nearby and started idly flipping through it. “He has a pretty big place, you know. We should have a drinking party there next time.”

“I heard you two spent Christmas together there.”

Just who on earth had she heard that from? Surely, Karin wouldn’t have told her. He was my accomplice, after all.

“Yeah, we went out for dinner,” I confirmed. “Then back to his place for drinks.”

“Heard you spent the night there too,” said Mai. “At least, ­according to Kao, who says Hibiki-kun told her himself.”

Goddammit, Hibiki! Don’t go spreading things around that’ll make people think there’s something going on between us! Especially when you can’t even find the nerve to confess! Why do you always have to be such a cheeky little brat?!

“Hey, we all used to crash there back in college,” I said. “Guess I’m just the only one who still takes advantage of that hospitality.”

“What a guy,” intoned Mai. “Just imagine where you’d be right about now without him selflessly supporting you for all these years.”

“God, this is so cute, isn’t it? I should get him this—it’d totally make him blush.”

I knew better than to agree with this assertion, so I just ignored her and changed the subject. It was plainly obvious what she was really trying to say: I should just hurry up and get together with him, already. But unfortunately for her, I was already spoken for. Something I could hopefully come clean about before terribly long. Sorry, Mai.

I bought him a cheap floral-patterned picture frame—which the store clerk wrapped for me in even cuter wrapping paper—then stuffed it in my shoulder bag. Today, I was actually wearing a coat with pockets for a change, so the only other things in my bag were my wallet and makeup.

Next came the fifth floor, which was a lot more like what I pictured the platonic ideal of a stationery store would be. There were a lot of much more practical office supplies, some of which were marketed as “life hacks” for making your workday that much easier. I almost wanted to come back here with some of my coworkers someday. That could be pretty fun—obviously we couldn’t expense it, but it could be a nice team-building exercise to have everyone buy something for each other. We took a quick look around the floor, then headed down to the next, where Mai’s present idea apparently awaited.

The fourth floor was full of things like notebooks and pencil cases.

As soon as I realized this, I had to admit, this felt like a very typical “Mai” sort of present—giving someone something practical that they’d use in their day-to-day life. It was so predictable I couldn’t help but wonder why she’d worn her usual smug-faced grin while teasing me about the idea earlier. But for the umpteenth time my dear organizer-slash-presenter-slash-candymaker-slash-wizard friend subverted expectations.

“So basically, they let you design your own notebook here,” she said. “You can pick out what color and material you want, et cetera. And I figured what better way to commemorate this special day in a way you’ll never forget than for us to make some special notebooks together we can always keep with us? According to their website, there are over forty million possible combinations!”

“Whoa… Wait, that’s actually really cool,” I said.

“We can each design our own, or we could both get matching ones, or we could even each design the other’s—whatever you think would be most fun!”

“Oh, man. Tough choices right off the bat… Maybe we should design each other’s, then—or, wait… On second thought…”

Just as I was about to go with my first gut instinct, I was reminded of that vacation planning game Hibiki and I had played and changed my mind. I didn’t want to ruin her gift by associating it in my head with a total blunder of a night like that. Even if I had recovered from it at this point, I really needed to learn to stop making a fool of myself in a way that put my friends out. I couldn’t just expect them to smile and laugh it off and forgive me over and over again—hadn’t I already learned that lesson from Mai, way back when? Maybe I hadn’t grown up as much as I thought I had.

“Actually, I think we should make matching ones!” I said. “With our powers combined, and your good instincts, I bet we can come up with something extra special!”

“Well, okay,” said Mai, “but I’ll be counting on you to lend me your energy too!”

“It’s all yours, don’t worry!”

As Mai and I flirted with one another, we set to work designing our special notebook—which actually had even more customization options than I was expecting. I figured we’d only be able to pick a size (A4 or B5 or whatever), choose a color, and maybe write some words to put on the front, but the first question was actually about whether you wanted it to be wire-bound or adhesive-bound. We went with the former, since it just felt like it had more personality that way. Next, we had to pick a paper size, as well as what template to use for the front and back covers, followed by what coloring we’d prefer for the binding rings.

The customization options that surprised me most, however, were for the inner pages. Not only did you get to choose what rule and layout you wanted, you also got to pick what paper material you wanted, which affected how smoothly you could write on it. On top of that, you could do multiple different materials and formats in a single notebook, as long as each section was in a denomination of ten pages. I could see obsessive and/or indecisive people having a very hard time actually completing one of these notebooks.

Thankfully, I was generally the type to go with my first instinct on decisions like this, so we made it through the interior page design process relatively swiftly. Finally, we got to choose whether we wanted a clasp of some sort or a text engraving on the front cover. Since it was a special occasion, we went ahead and splurged for the real leather snap. As for the engraving, Mai offered a pretty clever suggestion: “What if we put today’s date, as well as the names of everyone who participated today in a small font, and then our own initials in a bigger font right in the center?”

“Oh my god, I love it,” I said.

I was all for this idea. Immediately, I started typing our names out in alphabetical order: first CHIZURU and HIBIKI, then KAO and KARIN… On second thought, maybe this order is a bit too incriminating. That said, I figured I’d probably be stirring up a hornet’s nest by bringing it up, so it was probably better not to… But still.

“H-hey, Mai,” I said. “Why don’t we use ‘Hanao’ instead of ‘Kao’ for this?”

“Yeah, that sounds good to me,” said Mai.

It was a desperate, grasping-at-straws suggestion, and yet Mai surprisingly hopped on board with it with a mildly eerie smile. I was all but certain she’d make some sort of quip about my and Hibiki’s names being right next to each other, but she didn’t. And with Kao’s nickname now right in between us, the two most deadly name combinations had been safely averted.

We made my front cover blue, and Mai’s yellow. Side by side, it almost looked like we were going for a “sky and sun” motif. Apparently, it would take about thirty minutes for our notebooks to be done after placing the order, so we headed back down to the first floor, got some lemonade, and then started meandering our way around the floors that allowed food and drink. There was even an area where you could write letters and send them off right there, which looked like a little witch’s workshop for writing down magic spells and potion recipes or something.

After killing time for a while, we headed back to the fourth floor to find our notebooks were ready for pickup. When the clerk handed them to us, I got all excited at the thought of getting back into journaling. It was almost like buying a good luck charm during a shrine visit and feeling like my life had already gotten better, even though it hadn’t granted any wishes or anything for me yet. I’d have to take care not to waste a single page.

After the cashier gift-wrapped it and put it in a bag, Mai held it out to me.

“Happy birthday, Chizuru,” she said. “And welcome.”

“Oh, am I getting my ticket to enter your wizarding world now?” I asked. “Thanks, Mai—for this, and for everything today.”

I knew she meant “welcome to your thirties,” but I couldn’t help but crack one more joke on that front. When I took the bag from her, however, I was surprised to find it felt a lot heavier than I would have expected for a single notebook. And I knew it wasn’t just the fancier material. No, this was like that moment that happens when you go out drinking and suddenly the alcohol catches up with you all at once. Only it was extreme tension I was feeling, not drunkenness.

Because my shopping time with Mai was now over, she was probably going to bring up her other “wish” for me any second now. Judging from how Taiga-san described it, it probably wasn’t going to be something I’d take too kindly to. But I’d already made up my mind that I was going to hear her out and think it over properly. Still, I couldn’t help but feel nervous. Was I even mentally prepared to give her the thoughtful, considerate answer she deserved?

Taking the escalator back down to the first floor, we stopped by the lemonade counter to give the worker our empty cups, then headed outside. If this was going to follow the same shtick as Kao’s date, she’d probably address me right after we got out onto the sidewalk. On second thought, it was likely a little rude of me to refer to Kao’s earnest attempt to make amends with me as a “shtick.”

Kao had her way of approaching delicate matters, and Mai had her own, surely. I tried my best to imagine what that could possibly be. And, for the dozenth time today, and probably the billionth time in my life, she completely subverted my expectations in the most unfathomable way. Once we were outside, she just turned to me and gave a little bow.

“Okay, my work as your guide today is officially done,” she said. “You’re on your own from here on out.”

“Wait, huh?!” I gawked, flabbergasted. “But what about Hibiki?”

And what about your “wish”?

“Sorry—now that I’ve been a date for you myself, I can’t go back to being your unbiased guide-wizard again,” explained Mai. “I’d like to be able to enjoy more dates with you in the future, after all, and I’d prefer to avoid any conflicts of interest.”

“I mean, yeah, I had a lot of fun too…”

If only we could see eye-to-eye on everything this easily, I found myself wishing. I watched her reach into her coat pocket with a complacent smile and pull out a white envelope, which she handed to me.

“From this point on, the contents of this envelope should be enough to guide you,” she said. “There’s a map in there too.”

There was a pregnant pause after this, during which I thought she might slip in one of her usual smug-faced grins, but instead, she just took a deep breath and looked me straight in the eyes, as though she was trying to gaze into my very soul.

“It’s also got a message for you, from your past self,” she said.

“From…my past self?” I asked.

“Yeah. She gave it to me and told me to deliver it to your current self.”

“Wow, I didn’t realize wizards were capable of time travel nowadays.”

There was nothing written on the outside of the envelope, and obviously I couldn’t see inside. But judging from the fact it was sealed with a little sun sticker, I assumed I wasn’t meant to open it until Mai was already gone. That said, I couldn’t imagine what sort of message my past self could have possibly entrusted Mai to give to me.

“If you have any problems, I’ll still be in this general area, so feel free to get in touch,” offered Mai.

“I’d like to think I’m old enough now that I wouldn’t get lost,” I replied.

We both chuckled briefly at this quip, and then Mai’s face turned serious again.

“Before I go,” she said, “can I make a request?”

Here we go. Finally.

For a moment, I braced myself for impact, then remembered Taiga-san’s words and tried to chill out a bit so I could listen with an open mind. I took a deep breath, though not so long as to seem suspicious or overdramatic.

“Yeah, what’s up?” I asked.

Just what—and how big—was this request going to be?

“Chizuru,” she began. “At this next shop, I want you to take selecting a gift with Hibiki-kun as seriously as you possibly can. I want you to pick things up and hold them in your hands—­examining their color, texture, smell, et cetera—and really think hard about whether this is what you want or not before deciding. I want you to pick the one you know you’ll want to have for the rest of your life. And if I could only ask you for one favor for the rest of mine, it would be this.”

“…This?” I asked.

Obviously, I didn’t know what the next store was going to be like, so I couldn’t quite make heads or tails of what Mai was asking of me. But no matter what kind of establishment it was, it made me feel a little uneasy to think she’d use her life’s one hypothetical favor from me on a shopping trip with Hibiki, of all things.

“Sure, of course,” I promised. “I’ll take it as seriously as I can.”

“Thank you,” replied Mai. “Well, Hibiki-kun is waiting, so the two of you have fun. And be sure to get him to buy you something expensive while you have the chance.”

“Oh, don’t worry—I’ll definitely be taking advantage of Sensei’s generosity.”

“I’ll hold on to the notebook and Taiga-san’s present in the meantime.”

I handed her my bags, and Mai told me the general direction I should be heading. She did not magically disappear this time, but instead stood and waved while seeing me off. I could still see her standing there until I turned and rounded the next corner, so I stopped and waved back to her a few times. She was so devoted to her role.

Once I was alone, I stepped into the shadow of a building to get out of the wind, then immediately opened the envelope. Not just because I was extremely curious what it might say, but because I literally wouldn’t know where to go next until I did. I didn’t even have the slightest clue on either front.

I peeled off the little sun sticker carefully, like the seal on a cute box of sweets. Inside the envelope were two folded up sheets of notepaper. I unfolded the first one to find a simple, hand-drawn map. The names of several important buildings and landmarks I knew were labeled, but the destination was simply labeled “HERE” with no further information. If it were anything like the previous destinations, though, I’d probably be able to recognize it by spotting Hibiki standing outside.

Now for the real question, I thought as I pulled out the other sheet of notepaper. Just what message could my past self have possibly left for Mai to give me? I had no memory of ever leaving any sort of “time capsule” type letter with anyone, so I genuinely had no idea how Mai could have come into possession of such a thing.

With much hesitation, I slowly and fearfully unfolded the page.

I ran my eyes across the letters written there.

And as soon as my brain parsed the words, I experienced a similar phenomenon to the one I’d felt with Kao earlier this afternoon, where a flood of images, scents, and memories came rushing back to me all at once in the span of a single instant. Though in some ways, this was entirely different. The memories Kao had called forth were more like emotional baggage I’d sealed away, but still knew I’d been holding onto, stored somewhere safe and out of mind.

These, however, were something I’d misplaced and forgotten all about, to the point I almost couldn’t even believe they were mine. Mai had effectively dragged out a huge cardboard box filled with all kinds of latent memories from a dusty closet in the back of my mind. They felt a bit more organized and neatly packed this time, though—maybe I’d done a bit of mental spring cleaning in the process of dragging out Kao’s.

Regardless, these newly unearthed memories, combined with the situation I was in now and the words Mai had said to me a moment ago, made it abundantly clear exactly what the true aim of her request was.

“Fuck,” I muttered aloud.

I was now standing stock-still in the middle of a pedestrian walkway, about to break down and cry over a letter that was a single sentence long. I was a real piece of work. Lost, I let out an agonized sound that was more like a hum than a groan. Because there was more emotion to it than a mere groan. And almost a kind of melody to it as well.

“If we get to age thirty and neither of us are married, I promise I’ll think about a relationship with Hibiki for real.”

I could even remember where my mind had been when I’d written this too—those feelings had all been sealed up within that same box. At the time, I was going through breakups what felt like every other month—and each time, Mai and Kao would try to convince me to just date Hibiki already. But I only ever interpreted this as their way of teasing me, especially since even Hibiki only thought of me as a friend back then. So when I made this little “promise” to get them off my back, I hadn’t even meant it, really.

I couldn’t believe my own heartlessness. How cruel was that to Hibiki? And more than anything, how cruel was it to Mai, who’d taken that offhanded comment I didn’t even mean and held on to it for all these years, who’d planned this whole well-thought-out operation just to remind me of this promise to myself and to hold me accountable to it?

And then I realized: Mai’s request to me wasn’t about choosing a present at all. When she said “I want you to pick the one you know you’ll want to have for the rest of your life,” she wasn’t talking about a birthday gift.

Somehow, she knew about my current partner. Maybe she’d heard about him from Karin, or maybe she remembered me mentioning I was dating someone on a call a year or so ago and had correctly surmised that we were still together. Either way, I didn’t care.

The important thing was: She knew.

And she was telling me to choose Hibiki regardless.

I knew she wasn’t the sort of girl to give blatantly unconscionable advice like that so lightly. Telling someone to just dump their fiancé and start seeing someone else instead should, by rights, be a huge violation of her own moral code and integrity.

“Mai…”

And yet, she wasn’t a wizard, so calling her name did not make her magically appear. But of course she didn’t—she wasn’t actually some time traveler who’d come here for the sole purpose of bringing me this blast from the past. She was just an old college friend of mine, who was growing older just like I was, who still made time to get together on birthdays and at the end of each year, even if none of us could afford to hang out as much as we used to anymore.

She wasn’t the only one I wanted to call by name either. There was also Taiga-san, obviously, but I assumed even Kao and Karin probably knew what Mai had been planning here today. And while I couldn’t say for sure whether they fully endorsed it or not, they certainly hadn’t done anything to stop her. When I parted ways with Karin, he’d told me to not let anyone else try to tell me I was wrong for being who I was. Before I said goodbye to Kao, she’d gone out of her way to create a chance for us to reevaluate a similarly long-standing status quo. Taiga-san had told me to at least hear her out, regardless of whether what she was asking initially felt difficult to accept.

I didn’t feel ganged up on, nor did I feel betrayed by Karin in the slightest. After all, Mai and Hibiki were his friends too, just like I was—and I was sure he must have really felt conflicted when they hit him with this proposal. That was just the sort of guy he was, regardless of what you said about his beard.

Which was why I wanted to consider Mai’s point of view.

I wanted to give this suggestion an honest chance.

Really, I did. From the bottom of my heart. And yet…

I reached into my pocket to grab the handkerchief Kao had given me and used it to dab the corners of my eyes. Good—the tears hadn’t overflowed yet.

I wasn’t going to just run away. Hibiki was waiting for me, somewhere beneath this cold winter sky. For now, I just needed to make my way to where he was.

Checking the map as I went, I started walking toward my destination.

Obviously, I’d considered the possibility that Mai knew how Hibiki felt about me too. She could have heard it from Karin, or simply pieced it together from his behavior and manner of speaking around me, like I had.

If that were the case, though, there was absolutely no way Hibiki was in on the scheme, or that they were planning this whole event just to build up to one epic proposal-tier confession. No one who knew his personality would try to rope him into something like that. He simply wasn’t the type of guy who’d ever confess his feelings to someone in a situation where there were so many social pressures that might make them cave. He was a well-balanced guy like that, which Mai surely also knew. Hell, even if she didn’t, one of the other three would have no doubt stepped in to stop her.

In other words, Mai’s plan had nothing to do with Hibiki.

She was asking me to be the one who brought it up.

My whole body was stirring with conflicted emotions, which were bubbling up so violently it was a struggle to stand still. I needed to stay in motion—and yet, unfortunately, every city block had traffic lights. All I could do, as I waited for the signal to turn, was bounce on my heels impatiently (though only ever so slightly, so as not to draw undue attention) and reflect on my conversation with Mai just now.

She’d told me I should make him buy me something expensive. But just what in the world did she have in mind? Surely, something that would make it easier for me to broach the subject of us, in her hypothetical ideal scenario.

I looked around me. Certainly, there was no shortage of expensive gifts to be found, in this posh entertainment district full of tourists and sightseers. But even as the light changed, and I crossed the street along with them, I hadn’t the foggiest idea what Mai wanted me to choose. A bouquet? Champagne? Jewelry? S-surely not a ring, right?

As I nervously walked toward my destination, I grew closer to the station as well, and the street grew more crowded. Eventually, I spotted Hibiki standing up ahead, fiddling around on his smartphone while he waited. He was wearing his usual coat and slacks.

Perhaps he’d just gotten an update from Mai, as he looked up and glanced around, which led us to make eye contact even though I hadn’t crossed the crosswalk to him yet. You’d think this might only make my nervous tension skyrocket—but no. Even at a time like this, just seeing his face was enough to make me feel calm and reassured. I waved to him as I approached at my usual walking pace.

“For a second there, I thought you were an elementary schooler,” he said. “Who waves at someone while crossing the street like that?”

“Wow. That’s your opening line?” I questioned.

Despite all my overthinking, I was still able to interact with him just like always and gave the same natural reaction to his quip that I would have any other time.

“Happy birthday,” he said.

“Thanks, big guy,” I replied. “And sorry again about Christmas.”

“Okay, you don’t have to give me five hundred apologies,” he said with a cynical smile. “Better save some of them for the next time you pull a stunt like that.”

There was a small disconnect here. He was forgiving me for my drunken behaviors in and of themselves, whereas I was apologizing for having come onto him like that in principle, despite us just being friends. I would not let there be a “next time” for that.

“Did Mai-san tell you where we’re going?” he asked.

“Nope,” I replied.

Following the map had led me to a large building fairly close to the station, though not one with any obvious street-level retail businesses visible from the outside.

“Okay, then let’s just get going, I guess,” said Hibiki. “She did ask me to ‘be your guide,’ or whatever.”

“Yeah, you’d better be,” I said. “Don’t go screwing up my birthday, pal.”

“What happened to that somber, apologetic look on your face a minute ago? Can we go back to that?”

He was the same as ever. And so was I.

We headed into the building. Judging from the info board outside, it seemed like it was mostly filled with relatively standard retail chains, so it certainly didn’t seem as ritzy at first blush as the previous locations had been. But I knew better than to underestimate Mai by this point, so I braced myself for impact. With each ascending escalator we took up, I hardened my resolve as I stared at Hibiki’s back. Jewels, rings, whatever—I was prepared for any eventuality. My only caveat was that, if it was someplace that was truly ungodly expensive, I’d insist I couldn’t possibly accept something so nice, and refuse to take it.

Once we reached the third floor, Hibiki stopped ascending toward the heavens. Now that we were on equal footing again, I surveyed my surroundings. There was a glasses store, a Starbucks, and a few other things—but after I made eye contact with Hibiki, he lifted his hand and pointed it, palm up, to indicate the largest retailer on the entire floor, by far.

“Here?” I asked, doing my very best to conceal my confusion and failing miserably. I wasn’t sure what exactly I’d been expecting, but it most certainly wasn’t this.

It was an ordinary lifestyle goods store, filled with simplistically designed basic necessities like garbage cans and towels. Their stuff wasn’t dirt cheap or anything, mind you, but it certainly wasn’t fancy or expensive by any stretch of the imagination. Surely, Mai wouldn’t have been so blatant as to tell Hibiki we should pick out matching toothbrushes or something couples-y like that—so what were we doing here?

“Before we start shopping,” said Hibiki, “there’s something I need to apologize to you about too.”

“Oh yeah?” I asked. “And what’s that?”

This was a very uncomfortable place for an apology.

“When I was talking with Mai-san about gift ideas for you, I accidentally let slip that you’re gonna be moving here in a bit,” said Hibiki. “Guess I didn’t realize or consider that you hadn’t already told her. Sorry about that.”

“Oh, is that all?” I replied, relieved. “Don’t sweat it. That actually got put off for a while, speaking of which—couldn’t find someone to fill my current position, apparently, so it probably won’t be happening for another six months to a year, at least.”

It was a bummer to have to wait that long for my promotion, for sure, but such was the life of a corporate drone.

“Oh, no kidding?” said Hibiki. “Shoot. Then I guess maybe this isn’t gonna be such a great gift opportunity after all…”

“No, no—it’s fine,” I said. “I can always use more towels or a new garbage can.”

“Uh, well… Mai-san asked me to help you find some new furniture, actually.”

Aha. So that’s her game.

“…Furniture?!” I shouted. “Oops… Sorry, didn’t mean to yell.”

I possessed both a child’s lack of social awareness and an adult’s sense of shame. Lucky me. Not wanting to cause a scene, I screamed again internally: Furniture?!

“That’s way too expensive!” I insisted.

“I mean, yeah, I’m not offering to buy you a sofa that costs a thousand dollars or anything,” he said. “But I figured a chair or side table or something might be nice.”

“Hibiki…”

The price wasn’t even my main concern here.

I hadn’t even fully disclosed this to Karin yet, but the real reason I was moving was so that my fiancé and I could move in and start our life together as newlyweds. This meant Hibiki would effectively be buying furniture for me and my future husband to enjoy together in our new home. And I’d be accepting that as a gift from a guy I knew was in love with me. I would definitely have a few choice words for Mai once this was over.

No, no—even assuming she did know about the engagement, surely this must have been Kao’s idea. A good girl like Mai would never do such a thing. I could almost hear Kao’s voice in my head: So what’ll it be, Chizu-nee? You ready to dive into this hell of your own making, or are you gonna take responsibility and own it?

“Uh, why the awkward silence?” asked Hibiki.

“Oh, sorry—I wasn’t thinking about furniture options or anything,” I said. “Guess I’m just kinda speechless is all.”

This really was beyond the pale. But I figured neither Mai nor Kao would ever deliberately try to torture me that badly—they probably just wanted this to be a thought exercise where I imagined what it would be like living together with Hibiki. Even though I’d already experienced “living” with him for two or three days straight at a time back in college. I thought back on what Mai had said: She wanted me to really take my time and consider my options before “picking the one I’d want to have for the rest of my life.”

She wasn’t just trying to stir the pot. She was trying to flip the whole table.

“And now you’ve got your hand on your chest?” said Hibiki. “Listen, if you’re not feeling well, we can sit down for a while. This is the last stop, so we can afford to take our time.”

“No, I’m fine,” I said. “Just marveling at how Mai can continue to surprise me, even after twelve years of knowing her.”

“Yeah, no kidding. When she first told me about the plan today, I was honestly kind of against it at first. How come you got this whole special full-day event for your thirtieth birthday, and I didn’t?”

This was a bald-faced lie. I knew he was probably on board from the very second she brought it up. And I felt lucky to have such good friends, don’t get me wrong—but it still left me at a loss as to what I should do here. I mean, what options did I even have?

Option 1: Tell him straight-up that furniture is way too expensive for a birthday gift, and have him buy me something small and practical instead.

Option 2: Play dumb and let him buy me a nice piece of furniture for the new place. Actually, I didn’t even need to play dumb—he’d probably do it anyway.

Option 3 (and probably the one Mai was hoping for): Pick out a piece of furniture I could see myself using with Hibiki in the future.

Even when counting them out in my pocket, I still had fingers left over. These were the only realistic options I could think of—and as much as I wanted to eliminate Option 3 right off the bat, I felt like that would be kind of disrespectful to Taiga-san and Mai, after I’d promised I’d face their wishes head-on and give them proper consideration.

Not to mention the promise my past self had made.

“Well, you don’t need to know what you want right off the bat. Why don’t we start by just taking a look around?” said Hibiki. “Curious to see just how much cash Mai-san is expecting me to drop here.”

“Sounds good,” I said.

I promised I’d think about a relationship with him for real. And that was something I could do, right here and now—there was no harm in merely thinking about it.

As he turned his back on me with a cynical smirk and started walking into the store, I made a little bulletin board in my head and started pasting all the various emotions and impressions I had regarding this man to it like mental sticky notes. I wanted to give myself a fresh, unbiased look at the bigger picture of our relationship, like I’d done with Kao.

And in Hibiki’s case, it didn’t take long at all to fill this impression board up.

For starters, he was a genuinely good guy. This was the biggest prerequisite. Next, he had a mediator’s personality: always careful to never swing too far in one direction over the other. He also had a great sense of sarcasm, though he never used it in a way that made other people feel like they were being put down. He was extremely generous and forgiving—not just to me, but to everyone. He was a certified public accountant, so he made good money. He liked the same bands I did, and we’d been in one together (I’d need to hold him to his word about getting back into playing guitar again). He was my gamer buddy (even though we hadn’t played together since the start of the new year). He was also my drinking buddy. He was a pro at exercising restraint. We also knew a ton about each other already (including some pretty embarrassing stuff).

Above all else, though: He was my friend.

“Damn, is this how much sofas go for nowadays?” muttered Hibiki, running his hand along the cushions of a green loveseat. “If I got you something like this, I’d better get gift credit for the next three birthdays after this, at least.”

He grinned at me, clearly enjoying himself. He probably would buy it for me too, if I told him I was willing to cash in my next three birthdays for it. And then I’d totally forget all about it next year, and he’d have to remind me, no doubt. But he’d probably still end up getting me something anyway. Not just because he had feelings for me, but because that was just the type of guy he was.

“Wow, Sensei,” I said. “Already thinking about where our friendship will be three years down the line? How romantic of you.”

“Okay, now you’re just being cheesy,” said Hibiki. “Or trying to make things awkward—one or the other.”

“You’re right. Should’ve kept that one to myself.”

“Ah, yes… Buying a couch… The absolute height of romance…”

As I chuckled at his little quip, I picked up one of the matching throw pillows on the sofa and looked at the price tag.

I was reminded of that sweet, pear-like scent yet again—though it wasn’t so much a literal scent as it was a sort of emotional wavelength my intuition picked up on. It wasn’t that I even disliked the smell either; I just felt bad about the way things had turned out.

I mean, this was Hibiki we were talking about—someone who was utterly irreplaceable to me. And so even now, when I was making a genuine effort to reassess our relationship out of respect for Mai and the others, I just couldn’t bring myself to arrive at any other conclusion than the one I always did: I didn’t want things to change between us.

God, I’m such a bad person.

And here I’d said during the road trip that I wanted us to be able to face those emotions, no matter how uncomfortable they might be, so that he wouldn’t have to shoulder them all by himself forever.

And here I’d thrown all of my morals out the window on Christmas just to try to force him into making a mistake together with me.

And here I was now, telling myself that maybe it wouldn’t hurt to double-check one last time, even though I knew it was a shitty, underhanded thing for me to do as his friend.

There’d been a time when I despised these underhanded tendencies of mine. But with age, I’d learned to live with them; I couldn’t deny they’d proven useful in adulthood.

“Okay, I’ll walk back the cheesy romance comment,” I said. “But you have to admit, it’s been pretty crazy that we’ve been friends for twelve whole years now, isn’t it? Like, just imagine all the different points at which we could’ve branched off onto a totally different timeline, but nope—here we are, still going strong.”

“You mean timelines like in the multiverse sense?” asked Hibiki.

“Yeah, like parallel worlds. Ones in which we didn’t end up in the relationship we have with each other now.”

And here I was, just twisting the knife again like it was nothing.

“You ever think about that sort of thing?” I asked. “Like, what if things had played out completely differently, even before we were born, and as a result we ended up being siblings, or cousins, or went to the same elementary school?”

I didn’t make eye contact with him for added nonchalance.

“Or boyfriend and girlfriend,” I said. “You never know.”

“Mmm… Nah,” said Hibiki. “I mean, sure, if you wanna talk about altering stuff that happened before we were even born, things obviously might’ve been way different, to the point that I wouldn’t even consider us the same people… But if we’re just talking about the you and me that are standing here today, and who met in the way that we did, then no—I don’t think there’s any timeline in which we didn’t end up as friends.”

Right… Yeah, that makes sense.

“Wow,” I said. “And you said I was being cheesy.”

“I know—double standards, right?”

As he snickered, I elbowed him in the gut. Not because I was genuinely annoyed, but because I wanted to clear the air of the lingering scent of my own underhandedness. The last thing I wanted was him sniffing out even the slightest trace of the putrid thought I’d had just now—that if only I could keep my marriage a secret from him forever, and nothing would ever have to change between us, this would all be so easy.

Still, I knew one thing for sure now: Hibiki was definitely in love with me.